Monday, May 17, 2010

Old Testament Humor

Reading the Bible is always an adventure. Sometimes a passage touches me in a way it never has before. And sometimes it's just plain funny.

Have you read the story about Balaam lately? -- Not the part about the talking donkey, the stuff that comes before that. Balak asked Balaam to come and curse the people of Israel, but Balaam said he could only say what God told him.

"No problem," Balak said. (My paraphrase) Balaam, after all, had a great reputation for passing out curses and blessings. He set Balaam up on a mountain over the Israelite camp, made all the proper sacrifices, and let his prophet do his thing.

His thing, though, was to say what God told him to. And God told him to BLESS Israel, not to curse them. Bummer for Balak.

"Whoa, Whoa, Whoa!" Balak needed a curse. Instead of finding a different curser, he tried to tweak things enough to confuse God. He set Balaam up on a different hill, one with a little bit worse view of the Israelite camp. That should do it.

No such luck. Another blessing came out of Balaam's mouth.

No problem. Just move him again, this time so he can't really see anything more than a little corner of their camp. Now, since the Israelites couldn't see him, he should be able to lay down that curse.

Ready, go.

Hello. What kind of god did this Balak expect? Obviously he thought God could be tricked, easily, like if he hid behind a handkerchief, God wouldn't know he was there.

Peek-a-boo.

You now what, though? God knew where Balaam was all the time. He knew where Balak was, too, and where his people were (not only their tents, but their hearts). You can't beat God at a game of hide and seek. He's always "it" and he knows where everyone is hiding.

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